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I Ain’t No Punkb1tch…Don’t Nobody Tell Me To Have a Wonderful Wedding

September 16, 2011

I was leaving to go get married in my tuxedo when my lady neighbor said, “Have a wonderful wedding!”

That kinda pi$$ed me off.

“What’chu say, man?”

“Have a wonderful wedding.”

I proceeded to rip open the bag of rice for the wedding and ate it all.

“My God!  What are you doing?! You’re gonna get sick!” My lady neighbor shouted.

I erased “Just married” from the limo’s windows and wrote “Just go!”…and then I shouted to the limo driver, “Just go!”

And he went.

“Call him back!  That’s your ride!” My lady neighbor screamed.

I then turned to my best man, “You know you were my seventh choice, right?  Even behind 3 ladies.”

My best man ripped off his tux and stormed off.

“How could you say that to him?!” my lady neighbor cried out, “He’s your father!”

I then handed my lady’s wedding ring to the jeweler walking past and had him size it hella smaller.

“That ring will never fit your fiance’s finger now!” My lady neighbor warned.

I then went to my wedding and my fiancé said, “I don’t.”

Don’t nobody tell me to have a wonderful wedding.

I ain’t no punkb1tch.


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