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August 16, 2011

I was asked to be in a wedding party this past weekend and when the Priest asked if anybody objected, I just had to raise my hand with a white flag in it.

Priest, “What is it, young man?  Please lower the flag.”

I lowered the flag, “Well, I know the bride pretty good and she cooks like an unplugged microwave still in the box.”

“She’ll learn as she goes.  It takes practice.  One dish at a time.”

“That’s another thing!  She can dish it out but she can’t take it.  She called me fatso just before we walked in here.  And look how she looks in that dress…I feel like writing ‘Big-O-Tires’ on her.”

“That’s not very nice, young man. It’s mean actually.”

“Another good point!  She’s so mean, one day my pit bull got so scared of her that she made my pit drop her litter early…so early, my pit wasn’t even pregnant yet!”

The Bride got angry, turned bright red…

The Priest turned to her, “Would you like to respond, Miss?”

“No.  Please finish the ceremony.”

“Very well,” the Priest turned to me, “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully-wedded-wife, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

I smiled, “Of course I do.”

He turned to my beautiful bride-to-be, “Do you take this man to be your lawfully-wedded-husband, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

She kicked me right where it counts…I dropped.

My beautiful bride-to-be smiled, “Of course I do.”

The Priest also smiled, “I’d call that taking him during a time of sickness.  Very well then, I now pronounce you, Man and Wife. You may now kiss the boss.”


2 Comments leave one →
  1. ron permalink
    August 16, 2011 7:41 am

    thats funny

    • MEXICAN HEART...ATTACK! permalink*
      August 16, 2011 8:30 am

      Thank you, Ron!

      Corona : )

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