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Don’t Nobody Thank Me For Chaperoning…I Ain’t No Punk B1tch

May 3, 2011

I went on this field trip to Marine World with my mija’s class and the teacher said, “Thank you for chaperoning, Mr. Corona.”

That kind’a pi$$ed me off.

“What’chu say, man?”

“Thank you for chaperoning.”

I turned to lil Johnny who was silently weeping, “Did you bring a lunch, Johnny?”

“I forgot it.”

I fished out a Tuna, made a Tuna sandwich, “Would you like some Tuna?”

Johnny gobbled it up.

“Sir, you can’t eat the fish here!”

“Oh, sorry.”

I turned to lil Suzy, “Go over there and chew gum next to that sign that says chewing gum not allowed.”

Lil Suzie stood next to the sign, blew big bubbles with her gum.

“Sir, that’s irresponsible!”

“You’re right.  Toss the gum on the dirt, Suzy!”

She tossed the gum on the dirt where a penguin stepped on it and got stuck to the floor…he stood there like a little statue…no more March of the Penguins for him.

“Wanna go swimming with the dolphins, Timmy?”

“Sir, they don’t allow swimming here!”

“Oh, okay.”

So I stole the dolphins from their tank and threw them in my pool where swimming is allowed…poor dolphins.

I was arrested and charged with animal cruelty.

I returned the dolphins and set the penguin free…but there was nothing I could do about the Tuna…may he rest in pieces.

I ain’t no punk b1tch.


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