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I Ain’t No Punk B1tch…Don’t Nobody Ask Me To Take My Order At No Restaurant

April 7, 2011

I was at a restaurant when homeboy said, “May I take your order?”

That kind’a pi$$ed me off.

“What’chu say, man?”

“May I take your order?”

I proceeded to hand my menu, my mija’s menu and her crayons to the family next to us.

Mija started crying.

“Stop it.  You color ugly anyway.  And how can you color the Pink Panther yellow?”

“Sir, I just wanna know what you wanna eat?”

“Why you being so nosey?”

“I have to ask so I can tell the cooks what to cook.”

“You got any elephants on the grill?”

“I’m sorry, we don’t.”

“Then you depriving my daughter ‘cause this little fat girl can eat a whole elephant.”

Mija cried harder.

“Stop it.  We’ll stop at the circus on the way home.”

“Sir, I just wanna take your order.”

“You pushy, ain’t’chu?  You got any snow cones back there?”

“I’m sorry, we don’t.  You’re daughter’s gonna hafta order ice cream.”

“That was for me, motherfvcker.  Let’s go to the circus, mija.”

We went to the circus and mija ate all the elephants…she thought it was an all you can eat.  She got a little heartburn.

Don’t nobody ask me to take my order at no restaurant.

I ain’t no punk b1tch.


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