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I Ain’t No Punk B1tch…Don’t Nobody Tell Me How To Look At No Eclipse

January 6, 2011

An eclipse was about to happen so I looked up at the sun when homeboy standing beside me said, “I wouldn’t look directly into the sun if I were you, Sir.”

That kind’a pi$$ed me off.

“What’chu say, man?”

“I wouldn’t look directly into the sun, could hurt your eyes.”

I proceeded to snatch his round wife and put her between me and the sun like an eclipse and looked directly at her.

She was so much eclipse she blocked the sun, the entire Milky Way, the rainbow from the Wizard of Oz and three of my arteries.

She didn’t hurt my eyes, but she hurt the hell out of my blood pressure.

Homeboy snatched her away, “How dare you!”

“You’re right,” I said, “She’s too much eclipse.”

I proceeded to put his little round daughter between me and the sun like an eclipse and looked directly at her.

She was so short she didn’t block anything, but she looked like she could plug up the hole in the ozone layer if I could squeeze her in there.

Homeboy snatched his daughter, “How dare you!”

“You’re right,” I replied, “Not enough eclipse.”

I proceeded to drop my pants and moon the sun.

People stared at the perfect eclipse…they filmed it and put it up on the internet.

Not one person went blind because of me!  I was so happy!

Don’t nobody tell me how to look at no eclipse.

I ain’t no punk b1tch.

Corona

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