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CRUISING WITH CORONA: You Want a Christmas Present? Not From Me You Ain’t!

December 15, 2010

My ruca asked me for a Christmas present.

I asked her if she’s been naughty or nice.

“I’ve been nice!” She shouted.

“I know. That’s why you ain’t gettin’ sh1t. You were even nice in the bedroom where I needed you to be naughty.”

“I’ll change!  I’ll be naughty! I swear!”

I needed her to prove it so I gave her an axe and told her to chop down the Christmas tree and our basketball court to six feet so I can dunk.

She chopped down the basketball court but couldn’t proceed to the Christmas tree, “I can’t chop down the tree! I just can’t!”

After I slammed 3 out of 10 dunks home, “Okay, you just need a little more practice.”

I took her to the crack-house and stood her in front of a crack-fiend, “Chop him down…he’s hella high.”

“No way!” She shouted, handed me the axe and ran home.

When I got home, the mailman was approaching the mailbox in the front door and my ruca was waiting there because she didn’t have a key to get inside.

“How long you been a mailman?” I asked.

“Thirty-five years, Sir.”

I handed my ruca the axe, “Chop him down. He’s way up there in seniority.”

“I don’t chop down people!” My ruca shouted as she snatched the axe, ran inside and chopped down the Christmas tree instead, “See?! I’m changing! I’m naughty! Happy now?!”


“When do I get my Christmas present?”

“You don’t. We don’t have a tree to put it under now.”


2 Comments leave one →
  1. Midnite permalink
    December 20, 2010 4:43 am

    Awe man, JC, sounds like you need some cheering up….Hope ya still got your JCScribbler e-mail, ’cause I just sent ya a message…sorry it’s just an e-mail and not a tree…I’ll see what I can do.

    • MEXICAN HEART...ATTACK! permalink*
      January 19, 2011 7:28 pm

      Thank you for reading, Midnite!

      Corona : )

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