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I Ain’t No Punk B1tch…Don’t Nobody Tell Me When To Sleep

November 16, 2010

I was in the operating room when the anesthesiologist said, “You’ll be asleep in a minute, Sir.”

That kind’a pi$$ed me off.

“What’chu say, man?”

“You’ll be sleeping soon, you won’t remember a thing.”

I proceeded to hold my breath.

Two minutes later, I felt a scalpel cut into my knee…that hurt.

I wanted to take that scalpel and carve “wash me” on the doctor’s liver ‘cause I could tell he was a drinker, but I couldn’t give away that I wasn’t sleeping because I wanted to give them details about the entire procedure afterwards to prove I never slept.

“Blade,” the doctor ordered.

“Blade?  For who?”  I thought.

He turned on the round blade and whoosh, cut off some of my bone.

I wanted to take that round blade and cut the doctor’s umbilical chord…his mother was standing right next to him…nasty.

I heard a drill turn on.

I thought to myself, “I know this motherfvcker ain’t about to drill my kneecap.”

“Zzzzzzzzzzzt!”  Right through my kneecap.

That really really hurt.

I wanted to snatch the drill and drill a hole through the doctor’s bladder so it could leak onto the floor to embarrass him in front his mother and all the pretty nurses.

He stitched me up, “All done.”

I sprung up, “I was never asleep, fools!”

I then collapsed from pain and shock, tore up my other knee, my shoulder and needed two more operations.

Don’t nobody tell me when to sleep.

I ain’t no punk b1tch.

Corona

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 17, 2010 12:57 pm

    sweet

    • MEXICAN HEART...ATTACK! permalink*
      November 20, 2010 8:43 am

      Thank you for reading, kaitlin!

      Corona : )

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