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CRUISING WITH CORONA: I Was Feeling Smart

October 4, 2010

I woke up feeling extra smart today so I set out to take some exams.

I first went to the DMV, told the lady I wanted to take the eye test, covered one eye and got ready to read the chart above her head.

“Why do you wanna take the test, Sir?  You don’t have to.”

“Because I’m feeling extra smart today.  I wanna score a hundred on some tests.  Don’t try to hold me down, lady.”

“Of course not, Sir, go for it.  Read the top line.”

“J-A-N-I-C-E -W-A-L-K-E-R.”

“Oooookay, read the next line.”

“E-M-P-L-O-Y-E-E-O-F-T-H-E-M-O-N-T-H.”

“Wow.  Read the bottom line.”

“D-M-V-L-O-S-A-N-G-E-L-E-S-C-A-L-I-F-O-R-N-I-A.  How’d I do?”

“You got every letter correct.”

“I would’ve passed?”

“No.  I would’ve flunked you.”

“Don’t hate just ‘cause you wear glasses and have to drive with them.  Plus I suggest you change your attitude…you’ll never get employee of the month that way.  Where can I take the written test?  I wanna score another hundred just for the hell of it.”

“At counter 1.”

“I walked over, got in line.  Finally, 45 minutes after taking the eye exam, I approached the counter and the lady greeted me, “Hi, may I take your order?”

“My order?  I wanna take the written test.”

“What written test, Sir?”

“The DMV’s driver’s test.”

“Oh you have to go to the DMV for that.  We only serve Big Macs and fries here.”

That stupid lady at the DMV told me counter 1!  She should’ve said counter 1 in the same building!  She steered me wrong!  I bet she can’t even steer her car straight if she can’t even steer people straight.

Corona

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