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September 13, 2010

This guy asked me for directions to Chuck E. Cheese.

“Do I look like I play with big mouses?”

“No, Sir, I just figured you might know.  Do you know the way to Disneyland?”

“Now you think I wanna play with a girl and a boy mouse?  What is it with you and mouses, man?”

“Nothing, Sir, I just wanna take my kids.  Do you know the way to Rosa Galindo’s house on 10th Street?”

“She’s got a mouse in her house!” I shouted, “She’s my aunt!”

“She is?”

“Yeah.  What are you a mouse-catcher or something?”

“No.  We’re on vacation and Mousey’s a friend of mine.”

I damn near fell off my big-wheel, “How you know they call my aunt Mousey?”

“Like I said, we’re friends.  I guess that makes us friends, too, now.  My name’s Jim, but everyone calls me Raton, and these are my two kids, Mickey and Minnie.  Say hello, kids.”

I burned plastic outta there hella fast.

The rat family disappeared into the burger joint nearby.

Minutes later, Raton came running out with a cheeseburger and Minnie was right behind him rubbing her hand, “Fvcking mouse trap!”

Mickey was nowhere to be seen.  I know he got caught ‘cause Minnie probably ratted him out so she could escape.

And that’s the truth.


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