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MIJA: I’m Gonna Live Through You…Get Used To It

August 27, 2010

“Mija, I need you to sky-dive for me.”

“Why, daddy?”

“Because I always wanted to do it when I was younger but never did, and now I’m scared of heights and I wanna live through you.”

“But it’s my life, daddy, and I’m scared of heights, too.”

“I know, mija, but you’re shorter than me, so you’ll be closer to the ground from the plane.  It’s only fair you do it.”

“Okay, I’ll try, just for you.  When do we go?”

I took off her blind-fold.  She looked around, wide-eyed.

“Surprise!”

“Get ready to jump!” The pilot shouted.

“We’re on a plane, daddy?”

“Did you really not know?  Are you really that stupid?  Do you honestly believe you’re wearing your backpack instead of a parachute, too?”

I moved her to the edge, got her ready to jump…she shook like a leaf.  I would’ve called her a sissy, but she was already a girl.

“Remember, if your parachute don’t open, I’ll see you in Heaven when I die many many years from now!”

She got teary-eyed.

I started the countdown, “One — two — and –” when I was rudely interrupted, “I love you, daddy!”

“Yeah yeah whatever.  One — two — and — three!”

I pushed her off…she floated through the air…and floated…and descended…and descended…and pulled the string…and made a safe landing…into a fourth-grade classroom.

It was perfect because she had just flunked the fourth grade…until I seen she had picked the same hard-a$$ teacher she had last year…she was gonna flunk yet again.

I ended up whooping her little a$$ for not landing in the next classroom over with the easy teacher.

Corona

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