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MIJA: Am I Crazy, Daddy?

June 24, 2010

“Daddy, can I have a puppy?”

“Huh?!  Are you crazy?!  Are you out of your mind?!  Are you for real?!  Can you loan me twenty bucks from the allowance money I gave you earlier?”

“But you only gave me thirty cents, daddy.”

“You haven’t been saving up?” Damn, homie, do I gotta do everything around here?  Give you money, save it for you and then loan it to myself?  Don’t be so selfish.”

“I’m sorry, daddy.  Your’e the best.”

“Damn right I’m the best.”

“But I’m not crazy for asking for a puppy, daddy.”

“You ain’t?  Let’s make sure about that.  I gotta give you the crazy test.”

“Okay,” she got set, “I’m ready to find out if I’m crazy, daddy.”

I held out an I-phone…TheGirl.Went.CRAZY!

I just shook my head and put the I-phone back in the box to return it.  I had just temporarily bought it to use for the crazy test.

“What’s wrong, daddy?”

“It ain’t looking too good, baby-girl.”

I held out two Big Macs in front of her little double-chin.  She.Went.DOUBLE CRAZY!

I ate the Big Macs and again shook my head.  She salivated, drooled and repeatedly swallowed the entire time.

“What is it, daddy?”

“I think you really might be crazy, mija.  This’ll really let us know for sure.”

I held out a bulldog puppy.


“A puppyyyyyyyy!!!!”

“Okay, mija.  Who salivates, drools and looks nastier, you or this little ugly bulldog right here?”

“Me, daddy!”

I shed a happy tear.  Mija looks like a little, ugly, nasty bulldog with paw hands and puppy breath, but she ain’t crazy.


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