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June 21, 2010

I motorcycle cop pulled me over the other day.

“Why you pull me over, officer?”

“Because you were speeding.”

“Well you caught up to me.  So what does that say about how fast you were going?”

“You were also swerving.”

“You were right on my ass so you swerved as much as I did.”

“You also weren’t wearing your seat belt.”

“You don’t even have a seat belt, Officer.”

“All four of your tires are also dangerously worn,” he said.

“At least I got four, you only got two on that bike.”

“I’ll need to see your driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance.”

Me, “What’s that?”

“Sir, is this vehicle stolen?”

“Yeah, right,” I said, “Like that motorcycle’s really yours.  We’re both borrowing.”

“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to exit the vehicle and place your hands on the hood.”

I did as I was told.  The cop then took a real good look at me and said, “Hey, didn’t I just have another one of your cars impounded last week?”


“Well I see you haven’t been able to get it out since you’re driving this beat up hoopty,” he said, “Serves you right.”

The tow truck came by later and towed my hoopty to the yard…with two homies inside the trunk, set to break out both my cars from impoundment.


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