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THAT’S BARRIO: My Main Squeeze…Maybe…

June 19, 2010

I wanted to make my ruca’s 21st birthday the most special day ever to show her how she’s my one-and-only, my shining star, my main squeeze!

She blushed.

I told her I wanted to see her happy…to see her smile…to see her birth certificate.

She lost her blush…gave me a look: “WTF?”

She had told me she was born in ’89, but statistics show that there was a huge drop-off in female births in ’89, so chances were that she was lying to me and I wasn’t trying to hook up with no liar.

She got all bothered by my question and sarcastically asked, “You wanna see my birth certificate?”

“An original one with a seal if you got one.”


“That’s okay.  Is your mother home?  She can easily verify your story if she’s home.”

“No!  She’s not!  She died giving birth to me!”

“Oh, sorry.  What about the doctor who delivered you?  Is he still practicing?

“No!  I got even with his a$$ on my 18th birthday and took him out the same way he took out my mother…by cesarean section!”

“You know,” I said, “I don’t think you and I are gonna work out.  It ain’t you…really…it’s me.  Which way is the freeway?”

“Don’t’chu still wanna be a doctor?”

“Hell no.  Change of plans.  My dream now is to get deported.  And I’m sorry, but I really don’t wanna miss the bus.”

And with that, I was gone.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. Terry Villanueva permalink
    June 19, 2010 6:44 pm

    Corona…that’s jacked, man. rofl! At least I can say that my mom let the doctor name me…which might not be good bc he gave a little girl his name so now when I go see my doctors, they look for a guy, not a girl. =P

    • ScreenWriter Consortium permalink
      June 20, 2010 8:44 am

      Hi, T! That’s funnier than my story! LOLOLOL

      Thank you for reading.

      Corona : )

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