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CRUISING WITH CORONA: Nasty Santa

May 18, 2010

I went to see what my neighbor had in her garage sale when I noticed she was selling a Santa Claus exactly like the one I have on my roof-top.

I have my Santa timed to where he belts out a greeting every hour, but he only lets out one “ho” instead of three because his batteries are low.

My Santa faces my neighbor’s bedroom window because she was born on Christmas and I wanna do the “love-thy-neighbor-like-thy-loves-thyself” thing.

My Santa also throws up a peace sign every hour, but his pointer finger broke off and all he throws up now is his middle finger.

Half a peace sign is better than no peace sign.

My Santa’s also become a beautiful water fountain.

When it rains, water enters his body through a hole in his head and then shoots out from a hole in his crotch and the water hits my neighbor’s window.

My neighbor’s Santa-for-sale looked just like my Santa so I looked back at my roof-top and my Santa was gone.

I snatched her Santa-for-sale, “How dare you?!”

“No!” She shouted back, “How dare him and his disrespectful ways!  What if someone peed on him?!”

I thought about it…“You’re right.  He deserves the same treatment.”

I proceeded to pee on my Santa’s head, then faced him towards my neighbor real closely and said, “Now tell her you’re sorry.”

Corona

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 19, 2010 2:32 pm

    Awesome blog. You got me laughing!

  2. ScreenWriter Consortium permalink
    May 20, 2010 9:28 am

    Thank you and it’s our pleasure, pUnKiE!

    Corona : )

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