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THAT’S BARRIO: Beach Bathroom

March 22, 2010

When I was little I wanted to go to the beach.

“Can we go to the beach, mom?”

“Of course, mijo.”

She took me in the bathroom, ran water in the tub and poured sand on the floor.

“This isn’t the beach, mom.”

“Of course it is.  Look at the sea shells and sharks printed on your towel.”

“Those sharks are fake.”

She proceeded to play the soundtrack from JAWS…chomped on my thigh hella hard.

I screamed.

“Did that shark bite feel fake?”

“No,” I blubbered.

She replaced the 50 watt bulb with a 100 watt bulb and rubbed sunblock on me.

“Now build me a sand castle while you tan.”

“That bulb isn’t hot enough for me to tan, mom.”

She pressed my forearm against the bulb.

I screamed.

“Have you ever felt the sun that hot?”

“No,” I blubbered.

“Build me my sand castle.”

Not only did I build her a sandcastle, I also built her a Holiday Inn, the Eifel Tower and a dune buggy so I could escape.


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