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THAT’S BARRIO: Si Se Puede, Ice Cream Man

March 15, 2010

I anxiously awaited the Paletero as he pushed his ice cream cart up the steep hill towards me.

He’d push a step…stop…push a step…stop.

I wanted to help him because the cart was extremely heavy.

He’d push a step…stop…push a step…tripped…and the cart rolled on top of him.

I immediately jumped into action with my cat-like vocal reflexes, “Get out from under that cart!”

He peeked at me from under the cart.

“You can do it!  Si se puede!” I yelled.

Still peeking at me, “Fvck you.  Haber si tu puedes.”

I pointed down the hill, behind him, “Suegra (mother-in-law)!”

This motherfvcker got the cart off of him and got to me so fast I was ready to sign him up to return kickoffs for my son’s peewee football team on Saturdays because he’s hella short and has a seven-year old’s mental capacity.

He was out of breath, took off the ice cream cart’s lid, “What can I get for you, Señor?”

I pulled out my 75 lb cement bag that I had stashed in the cart on my way up the hill when he wasn’t looking.

“Nothing.  I don’t like ice cream.”

Corona

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