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BARRIO DICTIONARY

February 7, 2010

 BEST.DICTIONARY.EVER.

Looking to expand your vocabulary during those long rides in the wrong zip code? Wanna impress your friends with intellectual savvy at that upcoming cocktail party? How about showing off your down-and-dirty liberal side? Or perhaps you need to tell the cleaning lady NOT to starch your underwear—that rash is killing you.  Now you, too, can talk Barrio…with the Screenwriter Consortium’s Barrio Dictionary. 

Rosetta Stone’s got nothin’ on us.

ABRAZO (ah-bross-oh)  A good excuse to feel up another person.

 AMOR (ah-mor)  Screamed during nookie. Forgotten afterwards.

 BASTA!  (boss-tah)  Always preceded and followed by an exclamation mark.  Uttered after veins pop out of neck and/or when cojones swell to the size of cantaloupes and are about to explode.

 CHICA (chee-ca)  Most beautiful, talented, intelligent, charming creature in the world. Humble, too. Often loud, emotional… always on the hunt for chicos and a sale. Rarely wears natural hair color.

 CHOCHA (choe-chah)  What men want…more than money, more than power. Nothing else comes close. Men will do anything to get it. But they rarely wanna keep it. Always looking for a trade-in.  New chocha is much more valuable than old chocha. 

 CULO (coo-low)  Always being chased. Valuable ass-et.

 FIDEO (fee-deh-oh)  Results from dipping pito in ice cold water.

 FUERTE (abrazo) (foo-air-teh)  You’re usually grabbing their ass by this time.

 HASTA PRONTO (ahs-tah/prone-toe)  Said to a person you never plan to see again. Not really. Well, sometimes. Depends on whom you’re saying it to.

LIGA (lee-gah) Barrio duct tape. Popular Christmas gift from cleaning ladies who work office buildings. 

 MI GENTE (me/hen-teh)  Smart people who know when they’re getting screwed over.

 MIJA (me-ha)  A source of joy…sometimes. Other times, causes high blood pressure and migraines. Should come with warning label. 

 MOJITOS  (moe-he-toes)  Next best thing to a happy pill. No prescription required.

 NOSOTROS (no-sew-trose)  Not them. Never them.

 PITO (pee-toe)  Man’s most valuable asset…so valuable, it swells with pride. But requires constant adjustments. Not sure why.

  SPLAIN  (if you can’t pronounce this, you have a speech impediment) Don’t bother. No matter how many times you try, they never get it.

 TETAS (teh-tahs)  A source of food. Occasionally serves as flotation device. Better in pairs. Gravity is its worst enemy.

 TIA (tea-ah)  Woman entitled to slap you as hard and as often as your mother. Sometimes even more.  

 UNIDOS VENCEREMOS (ooh-knee-dose/ven-ser-eh-mose)  Mantra commonly quoted by politicians, the Mafia, gangsters, revolutionaries, war mongers…and pissed off audiences.

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